Friday, 6 May 2011

Grand Moff Tarkin Was Unarmed

More news has emerged of the Rebel forces attack which killed Grand Moff Tarkin.

Questions are being asked now it has been revealed that Grand Moff Tarkin was unarmed during the Rebel attack on his Death Star hideout.

A spokesperson for the Rebel forces claims that Tarkin had powerful weapons within reach at the moment when the battle station was destroyed.

Mr Stevens, Death Star Canteen Manager has painted a picture of Death Star workers and Imperial Stormtroopers sitting down to enjoy Penne Al'Arrabiata when the attack took place.

"I was in the office when a member of staff came and asked me to speak to a Jeff Vader who was complaining about the wet trays...... Penne Al'Arrabiata, the peas were my idea to boost sales"

This scene in the Situation Room of the Oval Bunker on Tatooine shows intense concentration as the raid unfolds. The photo unintentionally reveals a National Security Carp on the left. This blunder may well compromise their future ability to perform as a fish.

The people of Alderaan were asked to comment about the legality of the actions taken by Rebel forces.............................


  1. The Death Star explosion was staged and Tarkin is hiding in a Saudi Arabian disco.

  2. I heard that Bothan spies were able to retrieve thumb drives that showed Jeff Vadar was planning on killing all of catering with a thought.

  3. Yes, It was following the canteen outsourcing tray drying to Dagobah.