Friday 4 March 2011

NEWS FLASH! Haskin's World Overrun!

We have to break into "My Sweet 101 Orbital Prom Dresses" to bring you...


And in breaking news, we are receiving reports that contact has been lost with the corporate colony of Haskin’s World. Developed by the troubled Maas-Vorheis Biolabs corporation, Haskin’s transponders went offline a few hours ago, 2037 GMT; Maas-Vorheis’ legal department tried to block release of the following transcript but a freedom of information subpoena forced release. Some may find this disturbing:

All voices unidentified.
“Sir, we have unconfirmed blips on the far side of High Ridge. You need to get in the shuttle now.”
“Hold on, just need to upload the share value to core on the base uplink…”
“Wright, Shao, grab him. We’re moving”
“Hey you peeg whatabout us, heh? Whadda we do when the bleeps get here huh?”
“Not my concern. Step aside”
“Action Right! Cover fire”
“The Suits down”
“I’m hit”
“Queek, da habs, get da shotgaaaaaaaaaargh”
“Sniper! Sniper! On the nnng”
“Return fire stat!”
“Blip down”
“Left! LEFT! More of them”
“Talk to me Shao”
“Blip down”

“Hey you, eat these peeeg”
“Soldier boy, we got more bleeps here we getting shot da funnngghh”
“Here they come here they come”
“Blip down”
“They got the suit”
“Sergeant? Anyone? Blip down. This is Shao come in anyone? Blip down. Blip”
Military sources confirm that the so called blips were neither alien bioweapons nor local fauna gone rogue. 
“All indications suggest heavy armaments and ferocious aggression” said Major Mick Blore of Central Security Advisors (New Transvaal) PLC, “it’s the Redemptionists all over again. We need to nuke the entire system from hyperspace to be sure.”
In a separate development, todays Referendum on New Cardiff extended legislative powers and citizenship to the Aslan refugee community on the moons of Outer Tiger Bay. “That tiger bit is going straightaway” said an Aslan spokesperson. 


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